just watch it

I was gonna post something very negative. But after looking at my brother Curtis’ post of his friend’s post, I changed my mind. So thank-you Curtis for posting that one post. God is good. Because we live in a land full of blessing, we are likely to view our life as normal. So we feel that our blessed life is a right, as opposed to it being a privilege. So if things dont go our way, or if we experience pain, we self pitty ourselves. Living in America has given me a consumer mind set. One that focuses on me, and my needs. But thank goodness for the cross. Without it, I would be deep into my selfish desires. Because of the cross, we are able put our lives into perspective. In reality i am a dirty sinner, and i deserve to go to hell. If bad things happen to me, why should i complain, because i already deserve them, and even much more. The state that i am living in, i should be joyful 24/7 because i am receiving much undeserved blessings. And even if i am suffering, i should praise the Lord, because i deserve so much worse than that. I deserve eternal torment, the relentless wrath of God. But because of Calvary, God doesnt send me straight to hell. He lets me live, and even though i am a sinner, and i commit apostasy, He doesnt damn me. How great is our God. Thank-you older brothers that have been reminding me to always look back to the cross. This is very encouraging. Cuz when i think i have it bad, its alright because i dont deserve any better, and i am living reliant on God’s grace, so I praise Him evermore. Because when i am weak, He is strong.

Life is vain. Today I was writing my essay for one of my classes. I was supper stressed about this essay, because I only have one day to write a 7-10 page essay. So this whole day I was working really hard on my essay. I was just writing, and I got to three pages. Maybe 3.5 pages even, but I hit a wall. I was stuck for about an hour or so, just writing fluff and other junk, and then finally it hit me, what I wanted to write about. So I was writing, and I wrote all my ideas out, enough to make a huge dent in my paper, till my screen went blank. And I remembered that my battery was dying while I was writing, so I started to panic. I was thinking I am screwed for this class. So I plugged my computer back in to turn the power back on. Gladly my computer turned on, and I was in anticipation to see whether or not my document would be saved. Luckily my document was saved up to the point where I was stuck. After realizing this I became very sad. I really wanted to just give-up on my paper, so I went online to find things to take my mind away from my paper. Weirdly, I looked for sad things. And by God’s grace, it hit me how vain life is. Life is so much more than papers, tests, and homework assignments. Why am I putting so much effort into something so vain? Why did I get so sad after seeing that my ideas were not recovered by the computer? Part of the answer is that I put my all into finishing this assignment, I am really slaving away at this, and I did not have the right attitude writing it. So thank-you God for showing me how little my life is in this world, and how easily everything I work so hard for can be lost at any second. God is always good, even when things are bad.

How great is our God!!!!!! Satan trembles at the sight of Him. Darkness tries to hide from our God. Darkness tries to run from the great and perfect God. How great Thou art!!!!! One word, and the mountains melt at the sound of his name. A whisper from Him, and the universe trembles. Look at the universe, it is constantly declaring His name. It doesnt boast in itself, it boasts in the Creator. Why boast in the creation, when the Creator is so much greater. We are vapors, why do we boast in ourselves, when we are just vapors in the wind? Why do we try to make anything of ourselves when it will definitely fade? Why do we care what people of this generation think of us, when they are fading as well, and will inevitably fade away. Why not live for the glory of the One who will never fade. Secondly, why would God Almighty YAHWEH care about vapors in the wind? It would seem foolish to us. How great is our God. We will never know in this generation the depths of the love of God, but its there. Why would God go through such great lengths to save us?? It doesnt make sense. How great is our God. We will never deserve what we are getting as Christians. Justice calls for our eternal damnation. But the grace of God pulled us out. He called me while i was lost. How great is our God.!!!!!! Give the glory to God, no to man. Giving the glory to man is giving pearls to swine. ( not in context). But it is. All we do is pervert anything good. Anything good God has entrusted to us, we have perverted. Marraige, what God intended to be good, we have perverted. What meant to point towards unity with Christ, we have turned into debauchery. Give the glory to where its due. How great is our God.

I really hate sin. Sin just really messes you up. Sin keeps you feeling distant from God. Sin may bring you guilt. When I sin, sin tears through my heart and takes over my life. Sin keeps me from living out God’s plan for my life. But, because of our sin, Jesus Christ is all the more magnified. Because He was crushed for our iniquity, He will be praised higher than any name, every knee on the earth and bellow the earth will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. However I am waiting for a day when sin will no longer reign. I am waiting for a day where we will see our maker, and sin will bother us no more. I am waiting on this earth for that day. I rather suffer on this earth and at the end see my Creator, then live it up on this earth but all the while be waiting to descend into hell. And this is not of my own will, but of the will of my God. God chose me even though i despised Him. He loved me even though i spit on Him. He continues to love me even though i still choose to sin against Him. He will always call me His child even though I may sometimes be enslaved by the things of this world. Lord continue to sanctify me day to day.

I was reading my old texts today. I was reading what I wrote to people, and i came to the conclusion that i am not a very good friend. i have numbed myself to how jerkish i am. i am usually judging the friendships my friends have with me, however, i am the one who is the jerk. i dont like it when people ignore me, i have ignored so many people. i can say that i ignored more people than who ignored me. i also break promises. i used to think i was loyal. i am not loyal, i make appointments, then cancel them last minute. What kind of friend does that. answer: not a good friend. it is good for us to step back and examine our lives. Are we living how we think we are living, or do we live in our own fantasy world, and are blind to the reality of life. i discovered how numb i have become to the sin in my life. I thank God for redirecting my path again. Without the Holy Spirit i’d be lost. How great is our God!